Why does time feel like it goes faster as we get older?
"I'm getting old?" or "time is a construct?"
When I was 10 years old, one year felt like forever. I used to go to school, come back and play with horses in the field; lose track of time until I was called in for dinner. And I would always hear my Mom say “I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas.” Or, “I can’t believe you’re about to turn 11. It feels like just yesterday we had just left the hospital and brought you home.” Two people can have drastically different experiences with how they experience time. Why?
This one cuts deeper than you’d expect, but we’ll get to the bottom of it. Let’s dive in.
When I was 11, those couple of hours exploring nature could feel like lifetimes. And I never understood the way she experienced time, as every time I thought about it, life felt never-ending. So one day, as an inquisitive child, I asked why.
My mother explained that she had been alive much longer than I had. And to her, that one year span was a minuscule speck in the grand scheme of things; and if you put a number on it, that number would be roughly 3%. As for me, an 11 year old, it would be roughly 9%. That means proportionally, the older you get the faster a year goes. As a 23 year old at the time of writing this, that statement is not wrong. However that is also not the full truth.
There’s also something going on physically. Adrian Bejan, of Duke University, theorizes that as a child your brain processes visual stimuli faster; similar to how you are able to learn languages or skills more efficiently. This means that you see the world in 4k, 60fps. As you age and create memories upon memories, your neural network that holds these memories becomes vast and complex. As this happens, the visual stimuli now has to travel farther and farther to its destination. The world never changes speed — your brain does.
Even accounting for Biology and proportions, there’s more here. If it were just math and neurons, turning 23 wouldn’t feel different than 22. But it does. Why?
The key here is memories. When I was exploring as a child, every single thing I experienced was a new memory. There was a time I had found a fox den, dug for gold in a stream, and even found a baby turtle who I later took home and named Blackbeard. All of this happened for the first time; and when that happens, your brain devotes a higher level of effort to these memories. More detail, senses, and even emotion.
Blackbeard later passed as a result of my own negligence, and when I think back on it, the pang of guilt is clear as day. Every lizard or small fish I had after that — I couldn’t tell you more about them if I tried. First experiences burn bright, and repetitive tasks fade to nothingness.
If you think about it hard enough, you should realize this is what happens in your daily life. You may have noticed after starting your first real routine — whether it was a full time job, or a taste of the responsibility that comes with adulthood — that time seemed to speed up. Day by day you find yourself driving past the same food truck on the corner, or visiting the same coffee place every morning to get yourself going. The barista may even start to notice you, and even remember your order. Your brain has stopped paying attention. Why?
Hope you’re sitting down for this one. Everything we’ve talked about thus far is happening to you. The visual processing, the proportioning, memory formation. None of that is in your control. But unlike last week’s topic, what comes next? It’s on you.
Remember here, our key is memories. Your 76th work day didn’t look any different from the 312th. Your brain knows this and doesn’t even bother recording it. This is efficiency at work. But efficiency is a double edged sword; not everything needs to be optimized. It’s an active choice. And choices have consequences. In this case, you end up optimizing your entire life for efficiency, as opposed to meaning.
After leaving the nest as an early adult, I was very excited to have freedom. Freedom of thought, location, and friends. And I spent a lot of time with various friends over the years. At some point though I felt a shift — that I believe some of you are familiar with as well. I started making plans, and then cancelling? I started not even making plans at all, as my own plan was myself & my bed. And sometimes not even sending a text back.
This was a foreign concept to me, as growing up my best friend was my mom. How could you not want to hang out with your best friend?
Somewhere along the way, comfort and efficiency became the default option. Choosing the bed became easier than making the plans. Why?
I’ve come to believe that life is nothing but a series of choices, one after the other. At least, after you gain consciousness. After that point most of your choices are intentional, and there’s a drive to experience new things. But when the shift to efficiency over meaning happens, you are handing over control of the way you experience time.
Your bed is always going to be more comfortable than the unknown. Routine is always easier than going out of your way for a new experience. Every time you choose easy though, that day disappears into the void. Do this again and again; you won’t get control of your time back — you get older wondering where it went.
What’s a ‘why’ that keeps you up at night? Let me know.
Stay curious,
Deep